Nate Smith

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24 new ways to leave your lover

bestnatesmithever:

by Nate Smith

In 1975 Paul Simon gave us 50 Ways To Leave Your Lover. Here are 24 more ways to add to that list.

1. Wear clothes that blend in with the wallpaper. Stand very still.

2. Become an astronaut. Go to the Moon. Do not return.

3. Cover your lover in leaves. (This is a pun)

4. Tell her you had a previous engagement that you totally forgot about. (Make sure to add a back-dated calendar event to your phone)

5. Leave him…in  your mind.

6. Outsourcing.

7. Convince him to fake his own death.

8. Start talking non-stop about how your new idols are OJ Simpson and Chris Brown.

9. Tell him you have to go to the bathroom. Go to the bathroom on the other side of the planet…forever.

10. Explain that your term limit is over. Hold public elections for your replacement.

11. Invent time travel. Go back in time and prevent your relationship. Don’t forget to kill Hitler along the way.

12. Grow a beard. Keep growing it until it completely covers your body. Don’t move. Wait for her to mistake you for a big ball of hair and throw you out with the trash.

13. Burst into a billion kazillion molecules and simply float away.

14. Wait for the Zombie apocalypse. Let nature take its course.

15. Shoot yourself out of a cannon.

16. Go to a sporting event and use the Jumbotron to ask her to “not marry” you. When the camera turns to you, be gone already.

17. Build a fully stocked Doomsday Bunker with an automatic locking door that can’t be opened from either side for 50 years. “Accidentally” lock yourself in.

18. Jump off the Titanic as it is sinking. Tell your lover to never let go. Become an ice cube.

19. Tell him you have a phone call and you need to take it in the other room, and by other room you mean a room in a new city with a new family.

20. Puke on everything they love. Repeat as necessary.

21. Volunteer as tribute.

22. Select your relationship. Press Ctrl+Alt+Delete.

23. Tell her you are really into Improv now and your friends told you to break up with her and you have to Yes And it.

24. Say, “I am a camel now,” spit on his shirt and walk out the door on all fours.

improvisingfatherhood:

First Driving Lesson

Chandler and I rode Autotopia at DisneyLand. It was a bumpy ride.

improvisingfatherhood:

Chandler’s first time riding Splash Mountain at Disneyland

improvisingfatherhood:

The Buzz Lightyear Challenge

We really enjoy the Buzz Lightyear Astro Blasters ride at DisneyLand and it always gets a little competitive. This year I swore to get a higher score than my wife. This is what happened.

improvisingfatherhood:

Game Night with the Boys

The other night it was just me and the boys at home and so Chandler and I played the Kid’s version of the board game Sequence. Chandler loves this game and we’ve been playing it a lot.

I grew up in a very competitive household. Sports were our life. I had a poster on my wall of a little boy in Baseball gear that said, “I play to win.” That’s what I fell asleep staring at every night.

Without really any guidance from myself, Chandler has become an über competitive kid. He wants to win anything and everything that he can make into a game. I’ve actually felt the need to make him scale it back a bit. I think being a good competitor is a very important part of life, but I also think there needs to be balance.

So playing games with him, whether it’s sports or board games or Juice Pong, has always been an interesting balance of letting him win so he stays engaged in the game, and beating him so that he learns how to handle loss.

With sports like soccer, it can be harder to show him how his actions may have hurt his performance and caused him to lose. But in playing a game like Sequence, I can actually tell him where he made mistakes and how those mistakes had consequences. You’ll see that moment in this video. 

You’ll also see a bunch of goofiness and fun because we love playing together.

improvisingfatherhood:

Chandler and I were finally reunited after 4 days of snowmageddon. This is what happened.

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improvisingfatherhood:

We’re snowed in at home and Chandler is with his Grandparents! I miss him so much!

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improvisingfatherhood:

I made it onto this list today! Looks like everything’s coming up Millhouse.

improvisingfatherhood:

The Improvising Fatherhood YouTube Channel is now up and running. I would love it if you subscribed to it. Here’s a 35 second trailer, just in case you’re not convinced.

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improvisingfatherhood:

It might sound like this is scripted, but that’s only because Chandler says this almost every single night. This is the essence of parenting.

improvisingfatherhood:

I’ll do anything to make my boys laugh, including dancing EVERY time the Bob the Builder song plays.

bestnatesmithever:

In which I put 12 pairs of underwear on my head

bestnatesmithever:

Best Nate Smith Ever #6: Grocery Shopping with Kids (1:24)

Apparently, my children have never been to the grocery store before. The concept of all that food in one place sort of blew their minds. This is what happened.

bestnatesmithever:

Best Nate Smith Ever #5: A Christmas Present for Sam (:25)

It’s the thought that counts

Tumblr Guns For Hire

awkward-elevator:

On September 13, 2013, Awkward Elevator took a freelance contract with Official Comedy to create original content with the goal of gaining new followers for their Tumblr. When we started, Official Comedy’s Tumblr had 1,250 followers. As of November 9, 2013, Official Comedy’s Tumblr has 10,713 followers. How did we do this? By creating great content.  

In the two months we freelanced for Official Comedy, we created two original posts that earned over 100,000 likes and reblogs and three other posts that earned over 10,000 likes and reblogs. Also, two of our original posts were featured on Tumblr’s #LOL page. As part of our service, we also created GIFsets of their original videos to help drive views to their YouTube channel. 
If your organization is looking for these kind of results for your Tumblr presence send us a message.
Sam Holmquist and Nate Smith have been creating original humor content for Tumblr since 2009 and have a strong connection to the Tumblr community and an understanding of what it takes to create popular posts for Tumblr. Sam Holmquist is master photoshop artist and GIF maker. Nate Smith is a comedian and writer who is featured on Tumblr’s Funny Spotlight. With their powers combined Nate and Sam form Awkward Elevator

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